So, as of Saturday it has been 7 months since I changed my relationship with food.
*I feel like a new me.
*My husband looks at me like we are newlyweds again. He says everyday how proud he is of how far I have come by just watching what I eat and eating enough of what I need.
*I have inspired a bunch of my friends to try a change.
*My daughters are changing their eating habits, slowly but surely.
Most importantly, I feel healthier and love what I eat. No fad dieting or pills. No weightloss surgeries even though, at one point, I thought that may be my only way out of the weight and pain. (Not that I have anything negative to say about those whose path includes surgery).
When I started the Ketogenic Diet I was in a size XL top and tight 16 jeans. I was 208 pounds. I was strong with muscle but weak when it came to sugar and carbs.
Today, 7 months later, I am 53.5 pounds lighter and 55″ smaller. I fit into a size small yoga pants comfortably this morning. I can wear a size Small/Med top and a size 7 in jeans. There were weeks when the scale didn’t move. Those weeks I lost inches, not pounds. There were weeks when nothing moved in numbers but my weekly progress pictures showed me the light.
I am on this journey, not for the weightloss, not for the looks I get from my husband… I am doing this because I want to be the best me I can be.
So, this morning I weighed myself. I am 50 pounds lighter today than I was October 21, 2015. I woke up in a full blown fibro flare this morning and fell UP the stairs on my way to the bathroom. I do not take meds for the fibro except for something to help me sleep. The morning was a bit of a roller coaster. I am not sure if it is from the flare or the yuck weather outside but I am really having a hard day dealing with things today. I hurt physically and emotionally I am a mess.
After the auto accident I was in in June of 2013 I saw a therapist for PTSD symptoms. I had to stop going because of having to drive so far to get to the appointments. Now, almost 3 years later, I am still unable to lift. My career path has changed so much as well as my ability to do many of the things that I had before. I didn’t realize how much this was effecting me until recently when I tried to get disability until I can work again and was immediately turned down. 2 spinal surgeries, lots of physical therapy of different types and spinal pain injections plus PTSD and fibromyalgia that, some days is debilitating… Took only a month to get the denial papers. I do not want to live off of a disability check but my kids need to eat and my husband should not have to worry so much about money.
I went to talk to a disability lawyer. As I was recounting some of what has changed in the last few years I welled up and cried like a baby. It was then that I realized that I need to be talking to someone. I have been short tempered with my family because I do not know what to do to start dealing with these abrupt changes that I had no control over. I started therapy last week. This is going to be a journey I am reluctant to take. I have to take it though so that I can be the mom and wife that I want to be.
I am not going to let this beat me. I will be a good mom and wife and I will not stay in bed all day. I will accomplish great things, even if they are not the things I had been aiming for when I received my associates degree in Special education 2 weeks before the accident. It could have been much worse. I have been given so much extra time to spend with my daughters. Searching for inner strength and utilizing the strength and support of those around me.